Apron - Captain Kirk Character Apron - Star Trek®
Star Trek® - Apron - Captain Kirk Character Apron
Adult Screened Apron
One Size Fits All
Made in China
Printed in the USA
Screened image of Classic Gold Uniform from Original Series
Image from the neck down of Captain James T. Kirk's torso, legs and arms .
Right hand is of holding a phaser.
Set to stun your dinner guests with your best imitation of Captain Kirk
Tips on becoming Captain Kirk: besides dressing the part with your character apron.
Speaking Technique. The real Kirk has three notable ways of speaking; over-punctuating certain words, leaving gaps in-between words mid-sentence, even saying entire sentences really quickly. He speaks in a calm yet authoritative tone and has a deep voice, as important to master as the speech patterns.
The only time when diverting from this pattern of speech is acceptable is in times of extreme emotion, particularly anger. If someone has done something that annoys you, simply shout their name as loud and as quickly as possible. This is as much emotion as is allowed.
You can practise the speech patterns with the following guide. Where it says (1), over-punctuate the word next to it, where it says (2) pause before saying the next word, and say the rest of the sentence really quickly after (3):
“The (1)Enterprise (2) is stranded (2) (3) in the Delta Quadrant.”
Look thoughtful all the time. Kirk always seems in deep thought, to suggest high intelligence, so you must do the same. Even if you are not thinking of anything, or particularly intelligent, make it look like you are in deep contemplation. Narrow your eyes, look off to either the left or right and remain silent. You may break this when someone wishes to talk to you.
Pork Out. When you get to a certain age, double your body weight. Any way you want to is fine. If anyone questions or makes fun of you now, just ignore them. You’re James T. Kirk, you can do whatever you want.